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10 Dec

My Boss makes sexual advances

Dear Crystal,
 I am confused...and hurt. I am looking for good advice and you are my answer. I work in a lawyers firm and have 2 kids and a loving hubby. Crystal, I am hurt because last week my boss offered me to sleep with him and in return he promised to give me anything I want. When I turned him down, he became angry and started telling me that I’m not good at my work when I know that I am. I am the bread winner for my family. If I lose this job, where will I get the money to feed my family? I have pending payments to make and where I live it’s very hard to look for a job.

 On top of that, I love my hubby very much and can’t betray him. What can I do? I’m very confused and don’t know. Should I give in for my family or should I deny my boss and possibly make my family suffer? Please help me.

Dear Confused,

I think the first thing you might consider is telling your husband what happened, and explain that you have turned your boss down, because you love him and because you feel it’s the right thing to do (which it is!). Then, explain your fears of losing your job because of it and ask him what he thinks. Of course, I don’t know your husband, but if he’s the kind of man he should be, he’ll back you 100% all the way in doing the right thing, without losing his temper too much with your boss. After all, you wouldn’t want him to do something irrational and end up in jail or something.


Here’s the main thing, although you might consider ‘giving in’ to keep your job, in the long run there’s a good chance you’d lose your job anyway after giving in – plus your boss wouldn’t ‘give you anything you want,’ probably either. Or at the very least, it couldn’t last. On top of that, you’d lose your self-respect, too. You’re definitely on the right track in turning him down. These days, what your boss is doing is called ‘sexual harassment’, and in some countries he could get in really deep trouble for it, if you know who to go to about it. If that’s not the case, my advice is to stick to your morals and conscious – no matter what you might suffer in doing so, believe it, it’s the best thing to do in the long run. I will, however, hope for the very best for you. You also might consider quietly looking for another job as it appears things are going to be very uncomfortable where you’re at now, no matter what you do. A professional legal assistant or secretary is hard to come by these days, and you have skills that would definitely help you find another position, I’m sure. Good luck and let me know how it goes!


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