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15 Apr

The right thing to do

Dear Crystal,

I’m so confused on what's the right thing to do. Three yrs. ago I fell in love with a guy and we became lovers for almost one year only to suddenly break up supposedly because we lost communication. After a couple of years he texted me as if nothing had happened. He said that we didn’t even break up because we only lost communication. I accepted him back in spite of what happened.

After all, they say that love is sweeter the second time around, so I forgave him. We were both happy until one day when I discovered that he had already committed to someone else. The girl he is living with threatened me, calling me stupid, etc. I believe that she's angry enough to be able to kill someone. I broke up again with the guy because they have a baby now.

The problem is, he still sends me text messages saying that he stills love me and he's willing to marry me, but he still living with the girl.

What should I do? Please help me.

Pretty Lies

Dear Pretty Lies,

I will tell you right now that it sounds as if this man basically wants to have his cake and eat it too. In other words, he has a committed relationship with this other woman, as well as a child, but he’s trying to keep you on the side.

You don’t say who caused the breakup the first time, but since you mention forgiving the man when you took him back, I’m guessing he was the one who broke it off by disappearing. Then, all of a sudden, clear out of the blue, the man gets in touch with you after two years, as if no time had passed at all. That’s a huge warning sign, really. Then you discover, after you’ve become involved with him again, that he already had this other girl he was living with while seeing you! And now he has a baby with her as well. And all the while he was seeing you. It sounds to me like he’s been cheating on her, which makes it very understandable for her to be angry.

However, her anger should be directed at him, not you. He’s the one who has obviously used people and cheated on them, and isn’t about to stop. My suggestion is that you not only break it off with this man, but block him calls and text messages as well.

No doubt you can find someone who will love you as much as you’re able to love him.


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