Funny Words


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The Heart Mail by Crystal

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11 Mar

To the Dentist

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(13 votes)

"I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie."

Rodney Dangerfield

08 Mar

Husbands and Wives

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"The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself."


18 Feb

Everyone Hates Me

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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

Rodney Dangerfield

17 Feb

If Life Gives You Lemons

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"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

Ron White

28 Jan


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"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Rodney Dangerfield

13 Jan


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"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."

Albert Einstein

27 Dec

I am so clever

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(34 votes)

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."

Oscar Wilde

02 Oct

Heaven and Hell

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"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Mark Twain

15 Aug

The surest sign of intelligence

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"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."

Bill Watterson

12 Aug

A Woman's Mind

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(275 votes)

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often."

Oliver Herford

25 Jul


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"People are very reluctant to talk about their private lives but then you go to the internet and they're much more open."

Paulo Coelho

17 Jun

Men and Women

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(268 votes)

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

Robert Heinlein

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