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11 Nov

He doesn’t care for me anymore

Dear Crystal,

I really don’t know what to do concerning a situation with my husband. It seems that he doesn’t care for me anymore as I’ve found that he’s been chatting with someone else on the days we spend together. We do not live together in the same house due to his job being so far away, but spend time together on the weekends.

I am just so upset to think that he has the nerve to chat with someone on the days we spend together. Ever since finding that out, all I can do is cry alone and avoid him because I feel really hurt from thinking he’d rather chat with someone else during times that should be reserved for us. All I can do is cry, thinking that he doesn’t love me anymore. What should I do?

 

Sincerely Thanks

"JOBECC"

 

Dear JOBECC,

I understand how you are feeling. However, you haven’t really said what you found your husband chatting about or if it was with another woman he might be interested in apart from you or what. Perhaps it’s just a friend, or even business – and if so, just how much time does he spend chatting? If it’s just for a short bit, it definitely isn’t taking anything away from the time you and he have together. That being said, the best thing for you to do is talk to him about how this is making you feel. For example, you might say something like, “I feel really sad [or neglected or unloved] when you are chatting with someone else during the days we spend together.” Then you could also state what it is you need or want from him. Then, allow him to talk to you about what’s going on and how he feels. After all, it may just be a misunderstanding that can be easily worked out.

However, if what he’s doing is chatting with a woman (or women) in a flirting, interested, intimate way – that’s a whole different matter. In that case, then it’s best to get things out in the open where you can decide how best to proceed for what you want and need in life. That might well mean deciding if you want to remain married to your husband or not. Either way, you need to take care of yourself.

Let me know how it goes and I wish you the very best.


Crystal

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