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22 Nov

Our parents made us separate

Dear Crystal

I was in a relationship, but our parents made us separate. I don't know what to do. We want to get back together because we're madly in love with each other, but our parents are standing in our way and strongly against us. So what can we do??

Dear Frustrated,


I can see you’re in a situation that some couples find themselves in. But it’s not impossible, either. First off, one of the things you need to keep reminding yourselves of is that there is no better or stronger love than a parent for their child, usually, and that if the parents are ‘against’ this relationship, they probably have some very valid reasons. Surely they’ve shared their reasons with you. No matter how strong your feelings are for each other, it’s smart to listen to what they say. After all, they want only the best for the both of you, and have a lot more experience than you do when it comes to certain things in life.


Now, down to the nitty gritty. The worst thing you can do for your relationship, and for your relationship with your parents (face it, they will always be your parents, and the fact is, any long-term relationship in the future will be a whole lot better with their support), is to sneak around and see each other behind their backs. Believe me when I say they will find out. And then you’ve broken trust as in they can’t trust you to listen to them, etc. Does that mean you have to give up? Not at all. Instead, keep in touch with each other, remain close friends even, while going on with your lives in respects to your parents. This will do two things. First off, your parents will come to realize you two are truly serious and really care about each other – and believe it or not, waiting and being patient is a great way to show that. Also, working together in this way through this tough time can work to actually bring you two closer together in a way that is really strong. You’ll prove you can get through tough times. My guess is that if you do that, all the while keeping up yourselves in a responsible way, here in a while (say maybe a few months, or even a year or so), your parents may see you’re really serious about each other, and then accept it. Let me know how it goes.


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